2016-12

「フルーツフル」 vs 「英検1級面接大特訓」

先日書いた英作文のフルーツフル添削結果です。


お気づきの方もいるかと思いますが、このエッセイは、植田一三先生の「英検1級面接大特訓」をかなり参考にして書いています。


自分のオリジナル要素もある程度は入ってますが、「模範解答そのまま」の部分もあります。


そこも添削されていたりするので、これは果たしてどちらを信じるべきか…。


当然、植田先生の模範英文もネイティブチェックが入っているはずなので、これはネイティブ同士の見解の相違ということになるのでしょうか。


個人的には、添削された箇所については納得しています。


みなさんはどうお考えですか?よろしければご意見をお聞かせ下さい。


More than one billion people, especially in the Third World, are suffering from poverty. Under such circumstances, I believe that developed countries should help developing countries overcome poverty for the following three reasons.


More than one billion people, primarily in the Third World, are suffering from poverty. Under such circumstances, I believe that more economically developed countries (MEDCs) should help developing countries overcome poverty for the following three reasons.




First, developed countries have to compensate for their exploitation of natural resources and people in developing countries. In the past, developed countries colonized and oppressed developing countries, which is one of the reasons that the Third World is in the state of poverty today. Since developed countries owe their present economic prosperity to developing countires, they should atone for their past exploitation.


First, MEDCs should compensate for their exploitation of natural resources and people in developing countries. In the past, MEDCs colonized and oppressed developing countries, which is one of the reasons that the Third World is in a state of poverty today. Since MEDCs owe their present economic prosperity to developing countries, they should atone for their past deeds.




Second, developed countries' economic aid to developing countries will contribute to world peace and stablility. Since poverty is one of the root causes of terrorism and conflicts, helping the Third World to reduce poverty will stabilize the international communitity, thus leading to global peace. Furthermore, the interaction in the process of economic aid can establish a close relationship between developing countries and advanced societies, which is also likely to promote world peace.


Second, MEDCs providing economic aid to developing countries will contribute to world peace and stability.  As poverty is one of the root causes of unrest, terrorism and conflict, helping the Third World to reduce poverty will stabilize the international communitity, and help lead to global peace. Furthermore, interactions in this process could establish closer relationships between developing countries and advanced societies, which is also likely to promote world peace and international cooperation.




Third, developing countries' economic growth with the assistance of developed countries will have a positive impact on global economic prosperity in the end. If developing countries become rich enough to fill the technological gap, they will begin to serve as equal business partners for developed nations, which will boost the world economy.


Third, developing countries' economic growth with the assistance of MEDCs will have a positive impact on global economic prosperity overall. If developing countries become rich enough to compete technologically, they will begin to serve as equal business partners for MEDCs, which will help boost the world economy.




In conclusion, for the three reasons mentioned above, compensation for the past exploitation, contribution to world stability, and promotion of global economy, I believe that developed nations should help developing nations overcome poverty.


In conclusion, for the three reasons mentioned above, compensation for past exploitation, contribution to world stability, and promotion of global economy, I believe that MEDCs should help developing nations overcome poverty.

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英語教師

Author:英語教師
性別:男
年齢:40代
地域:関東
趣味:ゴルフ


C2プロジェクトとは?

ランキングのつけ方

TOEFLとIELTSの換算表(ETS公式)


C2ランキング(TOEFL換算)
116.5:英語好き(T116,I8.5)
114.5:Siobhan(I8.5)
113:Dr.English(T113)
111:Echo(I8.0)
110:ホーリー(T110,I7.5)
109:Jet Bull(T109)
106:amurrites(T90,I7.5)
106:Shino(I7.5)
103:リュウ(I7.5)
102:tats(T102)
102:Bryce(T102)
99:englove40(T99)
98:Zero(T98,I7.5)
96:英語教師(T92,I7.0)
90.5:Pippi(I7.0) 
88:ひかる(I6.5)
87:yuuki(T87)
85.5:ヒロト(T73,I6.5)
76:kazu(T76)
未:澤田先生(TOEIC 990)
未:Hidekazu(TOEIC 985)
未:K(TOEIC 965)
未:おこの(TOEIC 945)
未:りゅう(TOEIC 945)
未:Roberts(TOEIC 945)
未:Sorane(TOEIC 940)
未:a cat(TOEIC 935)
未:びび(TOEIC 930)
未:Tim(TOEIC 920)
未:Taishi(TOEIC 915)
未:gogakutan(TOEIC 900)
未:英国びいき(TOEIC 900)
未:よっち(TOEIC 895)
未:おkd (TOEIC 710)

ブログ開始前
2004/06 T840(L440 R400)
2004/10 TOEFL PBT560
2006/11 英検1級

ブログ開始後
2013/10 S150 W190
2013/10 T885(L465 R420)
2013/11 T950(L480 R470)
2013/12 S150 W180 2013/12 T895(L465 R430)
2014/01 T915(L475 R440)
2014/01 S160 W180
2014/03 T910(L470 R440)
2014/04 T935(L490 R445)
2014/04 TOEFL 89
       R23L23S22W21
2014/05 T945(L490 R455)
2014/06 T960(L475 R485)
2014/07 T935(L490 R445)
2014/10 T985 (L495R490)
2014/11 T940(L495 R445)
2015/02 IELTS 7.0
      R7.5L7.0W5.5S7.5
2015/03 TOEFL 92
       R27L21S22W22
2016/03 TOEFL 92
       R28L27S15W22

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