2017-04

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Is world peace a remote possibility?(理由2)

Second, human beings have the innate desire to control others.  Looking back on the past, a lot of wars and conflicts were brought about due to their strong desire to dominate people and their territory.  For example, about 400 years ago, Japan experienced the Sengoku period, during which so many people including farmers and builders participated in the wars and killed each other.  Their main goal was to rule the country and its people.  From this historical fact, it is obvious that our innate desire for conquest is a clear reason why world peace is nothing but a dream.



たったこれだけ書くだけで1時間ぐらいかかりました。

今回はほぼオリジナルです。レベル5は取れる気がしませんが、どうだろう…。


フルーツフル添削結果

Some people believe it is possible to make real the dream of permanent world peace.

Some people believe it is possible to manifest the dream of permanent world peace. 



However, in my opinion, realizing world peace is a remote possibility for the following two reasons.

However, in my opinion, realizing world peace is a remote possibility for the following two reasons.


First, difference in value often prevents people from reaching mutual understandings.

First, differences in value often prevent people from reaching mutual understanding.  




There are various religions and ethnic groups in the world, which means that the world has different people with different ethical beliefs.

There are various religions and ethnic groups in the world, which means that the world has different people with different ethical beliefs.



Because of that, more often than not, they cause diplomatic problems, sometimes ending up millitary confrontation.

Because of that, more often than not, they cause diplomatic problems, sometimes ending up in military confrontation.


 In fact, history has demonstrated numerous examples of armed conflicts.

 In fact, history has demonstrated numerous examples of armed conflict.



manifest the dreamという言い方は知らなかったです。そして相変わらず単複が苦手です。

それにしても、レベル5の金メダルを取れる気がしませんね。あきらめずに頑張ります。


Is world peace a remote possibility?

Some people believe that it is possible to make real the dream of permanent world peace.  However, in my opinion, realizing world peace is a remote possibility for the following two reasons.


To begin with, difference in value often prevents people from reaching mutual understandings. There are various religions and ethnic groups around the world, which means that the world has different people with different ethical beliefs.  Because of that, more often than not, they cause diplomatic problems, sometimes ending up millitary confrontation.  History demonstrates numerous examples of armed conflicts brought about by gap in values, including the long-standing Israeli-Palestinian conflicts and the war in Bosnia-Herzegovina.


8割ぐらいがオリジナルです。ただし、英辞郎を頻繁に使用しているので実力と言うには程遠いかと…

フルーツフルに提出したものは600字以内にするために多少削っています。

返却され次第公開します。



世界平和は実現可能か?

不可能である。


世界には様々な価値観が存在するから。

宗教や民族が異なると、価値観も異なる。

→価値観の違いが意見の食い違いを引き起こす。

→意見の食い違いが外交を困難にし、しばしば武力衝突へと発展する。

例として、イスラエルとパレスチナの紛争やボスニア紛争が挙げられる。


人間には支配欲があるから。

しばしば、領土や他者を支配したい欲望が働き、戦争へとつながる。

歴史を振り返れば、国内・国外を問わず、支配欲が多くの戦争を引き起こしてきた。

例えば、日本では戦国時代が有名だが、天下を統一するために多くの戦が繰り広げられてきた。

時代は変わっても、人間の本質は変わらないだろう。






フルーツフル添削(World hunger vs Terrorism 序論と理由1)

Although it is no doubt that terrorism is a great threat to (空白) human beings, I believe that world hunger should be treated as a more serious problem for the following three reasons.


Although there is no doubt that terrorism is a great threat to the safety of human beings, I believe that world hunger should be treated as a more serious problem for the three following reasons.



First, world hunger has a more pervasive influence on the world than terrorist attacks. World hunger causes malnutritions among almost one-third of the world's population. According to the UN report, nearly eight million people are dying due to world hunger annually, while the death toll under terrorism is around thirty thousand. From this fact, it is obvious that world hunger exerts a wider impact on the globe.


First, world hunger has a more pervasive influence on the world than terrorist attacks. World hunger causes (E)malnutrition() among almost one-third of the world's population. According to the UN report, nearly eight million people die from starvation annually, while the death toll of terrorism is around thirty thousand. From this fact, it is obvious that world hunger exerts a wider impact on the humanity.


1つだけ納得できないのですが、"for the following three reasons"がダメで、"for the three following reasons"に添削されているのですが、何で???


テンプレ中のテンプレ表現だと信じ切っていたのですが。

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プロフィール

英語教師

Author:英語教師
性別:男
年齢:40代
地域:関東
趣味:ゴルフ


C2プロジェクトとは?

ランキングのつけ方

TOEFLとIELTSの換算表(ETS公式)


C2ランキング(TOEFL換算)
116.5:英語好き(T116,I8.5)
114.5:Siobhan(I8.5)
113:Dr.English(T113)
111:Echo(I8.0)
110:ホーリー(T110,I7.5)
109:Jet Bull(T109)
106:amurrites(T90,I7.5)
106:Shino(I7.5)
103:リュウ(I7.5)
102:tats(T102)
102:Bryce(T102)
99:englove40(T99)
98:Zero(T98,I7.5)
96:英語教師(T92,I7.0)
90.5:Pippi(I7.0) 
88:ひかる(I6.5)
87:yuuki(T87)
85.5:ヒロト(T73,I6.5)
76:kazu(T76)
未:澤田先生(TOEIC 990)
未:Hidekazu(TOEIC 985)
未:K(TOEIC 965)
未:おこの(TOEIC 945)
未:りゅう(TOEIC 945)
未:Roberts(TOEIC 945)
未:Sorane(TOEIC 940)
未:a cat(TOEIC 935)
未:びび(TOEIC 930)
未:Tim(TOEIC 920)
未:Taishi(TOEIC 915)
未:gogakutan(TOEIC 900)
未:英国びいき(TOEIC 900)
未:よっち(TOEIC 895)
未:おkd (TOEIC 710)

ブログ開始前
2004/06 T840(L440 R400)
2004/10 TOEFL PBT560
2006/11 英検1級

ブログ開始後
2013/10 S150 W190
2013/10 T885(L465 R420)
2013/11 T950(L480 R470)
2013/12 S150 W180 2013/12 T895(L465 R430)
2014/01 T915(L475 R440)
2014/01 S160 W180
2014/03 T910(L470 R440)
2014/04 T935(L490 R445)
2014/04 TOEFL 89
       R23L23S22W21
2014/05 T945(L490 R455)
2014/06 T960(L475 R485)
2014/07 T935(L490 R445)
2014/10 T985 (L495R490)
2014/11 T940(L495 R445)
2015/02 IELTS 7.0
      R7.5L7.0W5.5S7.5
2015/03 TOEFL 92
       R27L21S22W22
2016/03 TOEFL 92
       R28L27S15W22

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